The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is a fascinating character study starring Brad Pitt as Jesse James and Casey Affleck as Robert Ford. Based on the novel by Ron Hansen, the film brings to light the real Jesse James and the young men who lived in his shadow, fearful of his unpredictability.

The narrator in the film is unseen. He reveals Robert Ford’s thoughts and intentions, and it is extremely effective throughout the entire film. It helps us see inside Bob’s character; the part that a book can tell you, but a movie cannot.

Robert Ford is a 20-year-old who looks up to Jesse James with no question of who he really is. Bob is not like the other men. He’s small, pale, wears a button-up shirt and vest, and keeps his face shaved and his dark hair combed nicely to the side. His youth makes it easy for the others to take advantage of him and laugh behind his back at his obsession with the outlaw Jesse James.

Bob keeps a box full of Jesse James memorabilia, including pictures and dime store novels all about the James gang. Bob’s brother, Charlie, and Jesse’s cousin, Wood, find Bob’s stash and mock his admiration for Jesse by grabbing his items and scattering them around the room. The acting by Casey Affleck in this scene is heart wrenching. He portrays the character’s naivety exceptionally and beautifully. His childish voice breaks with embarrassment. At this point in the film, you can begin to realize that Bob’s admiration for Jesse may never be reciprocated.

When Jesse James doesn’t like someone, he can easily get rid of him. When Jesse James wants something, he can easily get it. He’s a dangerous man who has no true friends, and those who call themselves his friend only do so out of fear.

When Jesse takes down a 14-year-old boy and tries to smother him to get him to talk, you know he’s on the edge of a breakdown. When gang member Dick Liddle has to get him to stop, Jesse leans into his horse and sobs for a few moments. This is the only time in the film when you see this kind of emotion with Jesse.

The film takes a suspenseful turn when Bob kills Jesse’s cousin, Wood, after he and Dick get into a gunfight. Wood has Dick backed into a corner, and when Dick pulls his trigger and finds nothing, Wood prepares to take one last shot at Dick. From behind, Bob pulls out his gun and kills Wood.

Brothers Charlie and Bob fear that Jesse James will suspect them of the murder. They know it’s only a matter of time before Jesse kills them both and they are sick with worry about when it will happen. They decide to take care of Jesse before he takes care of them.

Robert Ford’s decision to kill Jesse James came out of fear for his life and for that of his brother’s, but it also had a lot to do with jealousy. As he reveals, “I've been a nobody all my life. I was the baby; I was the one they made promises to that they never kept. And ever since I can recall it, Jesse James has been as big as a tree.”

In the end, Bob regrets his decision to kill Jesse James. He misses the outlaw as much as anyone and opens up about repercussions of his decision: “You know what I expected? Applause. They didn’t applaud.”

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford was nominated for two Academy Awards in 2008: one for Best Achievement in Cinematography for Roger Deakins and Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role for Casey Affleck.

I love how the film portrayed Jesse James as a cold-blooded, calculated killer. We tend to forget that this is how Jesse James really was. He was a merciless murderer; capable of anything he put his mind to. Brad Pitt's performance is haunting, frightening, and totally unexpected. Even his laugh set me on-edge. Casey Affleck is brilliant; he plays Robert Ford innocent and meek, but in the end has the capability of bringing down the most infamous outlaw. This film brings into question society's fascination with killers; where Jesse James is glorified, the man who brings him to justice is considered a murderer and a villain.

Comfy Chairs and the Voice in My Head Who's Always Right

*Name has been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

On Fridays I start the day off with Culture and Gender, a psychology course that is quickly becoming one of my favorites. The atmosphere in the room is so relaxed; we sit in comfy reclining chairs and talk about anything we want to. There's no fixed assignments and the topics are entirely up to us. It is one class where I have been able to be myself; a rare find these days. I feel like I can talk about anything and there's always someone there to listen.

After Culture and Gender I have a horrid hour and a half to sit and do basically nothing. I hate downtime between classes. I have to waste time watching YouTube or a DVD on my computer, which isn't really too bad, but I hate lugging my laptop around with me. Today was one of those days, and I decided to head up to the third floor of the library and check email, updates on grad school, and maybe write a blog.

But something happened. The minute I reached the doors of the third floor, a voice told me, "You're going to run into *Simon. Be on guard." With over 11,000 people in this school why on earth would I run into Simon?

Well, what do you know? The minute I walk into those doors and pick out a nice computer spot... BAM. My eyes meet with who other than Simon, right across the way from me. Good grief! Let me tell you why this is the last person on earth I wanted to run into today.

A few weeks ago, Simon invited me over to his apartment. Rather than chillin' with a movie and just enjoying each other's company, Simon wanted to enjoy it in another kind of way that gave him all the pleasure, and me all the grief. For the sake of my sanity--I really could care less what Simon thinks--I am not going to go into all the details. But let's just say I felt totally taken advantage of and to this day I cringe at the thought of it. What I experienced that night was kind of like a waking dream.

The Simon I knew was cheesy, not too good with girls. I mean, last April we dated and all he ever did was hold my hand. He explained he only kissed girls he "really, really liked." I was okay with that; I could be patient. About a week after that we ended it. He told me that he kissed another girl. The funny thing was my gut reaction when he spilled it to me: "Uh... so?" In all honesty, I really wasn't surprised. All evening leading up to that point he was acting like he was out to do some serious dumping damage. So I shrugged it off but was quite disappointed. Afterall, this was our second time around. We'd gone out for about a month the year before that.

Imagine my un-surprise when he got ahold of me in December. Oh, there's Simon again. After two times around and not much success with the whole situation, I was less than enthusiastic about hanging out again. However, I let my mom talk me into it. Her philosophy was that it couldn't hurt.

Well, it didn't hurt the first time we hung out. We talked about his "issues" and how they contributed to why we were on-again, off-again, but I still wasn't quite impressed. There was something different about him: he actually kissed me. Hmm... odd. Sparks... not so much. It was... eh.

The second time we hung out was the last time. I wish I had made the first time the last time, then I wouldn't have this awful memory stuck in my head: Simon went nuts. I am thinking his encounter with an almost-fiance riled him all up and then it was my turn to be the dummy he let out his pent-up sexual frustrations on. Why does this happen to me? Yuck. I should have high-tailed it out of his apartment the minute he started thinking he was Brad Pitt.

From my experience--and sadly, I have had a lot of it--most "RM" boys are a bunch of horndogs. Maybe that is why when I met Kevin, who hadn't yet been on a mission, he was like a breath of fresh air. No interest in making out, just the occasional kiss and constant hand-holding. Oh, how I miss that. Going from dating RMs where all they want is booty, booty, booty to a guy who actually listened to my raves about the latest movie and my awful car-singing, even at times participating in them, was a great and wonderful relief.

That's why when Simon came back into the picture and pulled that awful little stunt of his, I realized how much I miss Kevin and how he is unlike any other guy I have ever known. I have never felt so comfortable around a guy. I was always myself with him. It's a lot like finding that rare class with the comfy chairs. There was always an atmosphere of security and confidence with Kevin. I could tell him anything and I knew he was listening.

Now, I plan to do some listening of my own to the voice in my head who is always right. I'm not going to be stuck in a compromising situation ever again.

But I'm still going to the library.

My Bucket List: Ten Things to Do Before I... well, you know.

1. Go to Australia and climb Ayer's Rock and the Sydney Harbor Bridge.

2. Learn to play the cello.

3. Attend a "red carpet" event.

4. Meet film composers Danny Elfman and Thomas Newman.

5. Go on a Safari.

6. Be a syndicated cartoonist.

7. Go on a genealogical tour of Europe.

8. Walk the Highgate Cemetery in London.

9. Swim with dolphins off the Hawaii coast.

10. Stay in The Stanley Hotel, the hotel that inspired Stephen King to write "The Shining".

Disney's Classic Comeback

I often wonder what happened to the remarkable kind of Disney films that were a memorable part of my childhood, the ones with romance and suspense complete with singing, dancing and fairytale worlds. I remember the days when I would go to the Holiday Theater to see the latest Disney magic come to life on the big screen. I can still picture myself holding my half-melted Disney Special Edition Nestle Crunch Bar and waiting in anticipation for the lights to go down.

I remember my excitement when I got the Pocahontas Barbie Doll I had asked for and The Lion King ponytail bands I couldn’t wait to showoff at school. My favorite pastime on the playground was firing off lines from The Lion King with my best friend; she loved to be Simba and I didn’t mind playing Scar. Those were the days. Life was simple and beautiful in the 1990s and Disney was at its best.

When Pixar came into the Disney scene, I couldn’t have been more unenthused. Don’t get me wrong; I think computer imaging can do wonders for film. After all, it makes it possible to bridge the gap between mediocre and astounding, but when Disney began to use computer imaging I felt cheated. It just didn’t fulfill the Disney legacy I felt I knew.

I can’t honestly say that some new Disney films are terrible just because they are computer animated. I think Finding Nemo is brilliant, and I know with hand-drawn animation it would not have been as bright and beautiful. The same goes for Dinosaur. Hand-drawn animation does have it limits; even Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King had to incorporate some computer effects to help with the storytelling, but overall I think the magic of Disney went away when the hand-drawn animators were asked to move over and move out to make room for the computer graphics team.

Walt Disney Studios released America’s first hand-drawn feature in 1937 with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. From then on until 2004, Disney produced 44 hand-drawn feature films. Walt Disney Studio’s 67-year reign as the king of traditional animation came to an end on April 3, 2004, as it announced the release of its last hand-drawn feature film, Home on the Range. In those 44 years, Disney released some of I what I feel to be the most beautiful animated stories of all time, among them Bambi, Dumbo, Cinderella, Lady and the Tramp, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and The Lion King.

Disney lost a lot of its spark when it went digital, but one thing they lost the most was the magic of the Disney princess. The last film Disney produced with a fairytale setting was Beauty and the Beast in 1991.

If you think the days of the Walt Disney princess are over, you better guess again. Enchanted, the new film from Walt Disney Pictures, brings back the longed-for and greatly missed Disney princess like the ones we knew when we were kids; the kind of heroine that’s been missing since classic Disney animation was retired.

Enchanted is the story of Giselle, a young princess who is banished by an evil queen from her magical fairytale world to the real life streets of modern day Manhattan, where she falls for her true prince charming. The film revives the one thing that used to make Disney, Disney: hand-drawn animation and, you guessed it, the music.

Even if the hand-drawn animation plays only a small role in the live-action romance Enchanted, seeing that old familiar Disney-look gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I remembered what it was like to be swept away by a good Disney movie. The film opens with hand-drawn animation and the familiar faces of classic Disney: characters with wide-eyes, bright smiles and gentle voices. This is what I grew up with, and this is what I have missed so much. This is my Disney. Within the first five seconds of the film, I knew it was going to be wonderful.

Enchanted plays on the classic Walt Disney style, with birds and animals caught up in song and princes and princesses searching for their true love. The film doesn’t make fun of the classic style or mock it, but gives it new life; a rebirth of Disney magic that has been missing all this time. There is a particular scene where princess Giselle begins to sing in the middle of Central Park. What makes the scene so wonderful is that everyone begins to join in with her. There is singing, dancing and an array of color and pure joy everywhere. Everything about it rings out classic Disney. The experience is like being in a Disney theme park because it carries with it that same caliber of magic. The minute I walked out of the theater, I wanted to walk back in and see it again.

There is good news for those who are like me and miss the good old days of hand-drawn animation. Walt Disney Feature Animation plans for a 2009 release of The Princess and the Frog, a feature film entirely composed of traditional animation. On board are writer-directors Ron Clements and John Musker, who brought to life hand-drawn films such as The Little Mermaid and Aladdin. Composer Alan Menkin, who is responsible for the Broadway-like musical style of many Disney features, is also along for the ride.

Traditional Disney storytelling isn’t for everyone. Some people would rather watch a film straight through without having to worry about when the characters will get distracted and come up with a ditty to sing, but it works for children and it has always worked for me. I love music and I love lightheartedness. If I’m having a bad day, all I have to do is put in The Lion King or Lady and the Tramp and my worries go right out the window; even if it is just for a moment.

Will I Forever Be the Artistic Lady in the Box?

When I was a freshman in high school, our drama department put on a production in November 2001 of Thornton Wilder's Our Town. I was cast as the "Artistic Lady in the Box." This meant that I sat in the audience in full costume and delivered two lines. Now, I admit these were two measly little lines, but I looked absolutely fantastic in my 1800s attire. I laugh when I think about the poor soul who had to sit behind me in the audience during that scene, considering that my hat was bigger than the state of Michigan. It was fun to startle people when it came time to say my line, popping up from the audience in character and having all eyes on me.

After Our Town, I did some chorus work for A Salute to Rogers and Hammerstein, helped as an Assistant Director for Much Ado About Nothing and worked with sound design for the production of Cinderella. I wanted so badly to be on-stage, even if it was another tiny part like the Lady. I tried out numerous times, but was always offered a technical position. To me, that wasn’t as good. I never got another chance to have another line in another play.  

Cody was my best friend in high school. We always joked that we were "soul mates" that would never be together as a couple, and that was true. We would tell each other everything, walk through fire for one another, but we'd never take the plunge and be together in that particular way.  

Back then, I was happy and carefree; I was a jokester and a fun person to be around.  When bad things happened, I got over them. Lately I have worried that the person I was around my best friend was the real me and that nowadays I have a serious problem: I am the Artistic Lady in the Box. I am playing a role.

I wonder what the secret was to being myself with Cody. I could be corny and crazy, say whatever I wanted without worry, lean on his shoulder for support, fight with him and cry with him. There was hardly ever a moment of silence with him and when there was, we were completely comfortable and content. I haven’t found that since, and I am worried as to why. Is the role I am playing now so much a part of me that I will never break away from it? 

I find myself in relationships with guys who need saving, and I never do save them. I need just as much saving in the end. When I knew the best of Cody, he didn’t need saving. There was nothing to worry about and no secrets that needed to be kept. We were best friends, as simple as that. We were young and happy and nothing bad had come over either of us yet. Life hadn’t grabbed hold of us, reality hadn’t sunk in completely and darkness hadn’t tapped us on the shoulder. There was no pain of regret present in our relationship. I didn’t ever have to question whether I was the Artistic Lady in the Box or not. Cody was the type of person that just brought out my true character, no label necessary.

I am so tired of trying to be someone I am not. I long for the day when I will meet someone who can be my best friend. I want to break out of this box in which I am so frustratingly bound.  Maybe I won’t have to wait for long, because I know it is within my power to make a much-needed change.

I am the Artistic Lady in the Box. And I am breaking out.  

To the Girls About Guys: An LDS Perspective

These past few months have been so hard for me, because I have watched one of my best friends turn from everything she used to know...all because of a guy. There are girls out there who are falling for guys who are no good, and they give this excuse: "But he is an RM."

This is what I have to say not just to those girls and to LDS girls every where. And if you aren't LDS, hear me out anyway. Everyone has values.

"RM" is a TITLE. When looking for someone, you need to find a guy who not only has the RM title, but also the CHARACTER. Now, don't get me wrong. He can have the character, but not the title. If that is okay with you, that is wonderful. Not everyone has to serve a mission to be worthy in your eyes.

But he should NEVER have just the title. He absolutely must have the character to match, or you are only fooling yourself. Do not stick with a guy just because you think you can help him back into the Church. 

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE HIM. THAT IS THE LORD'S JOB.

So many girls get hurt because they fall for guys that need what they call "saving." But, let me tell you from experience, it ends up being you who needs saved. There is a very small percentage of girls who actually bring their guys back into the Church. It is usually the girls who end up abandoning their true wants and wishes for someone who just doesn't measure up.

Look for someone whose core values line up with yours, and do not settle for anything less than that. Don't settle for a guy just because he is a GUY. Try to find out about yourself. 

Love yourself first. If you respect yourself, you will want a guy who respects you. The "guy element" in your life is a nice touch, but you don't need a 
relationship to define you. 

Stop dating such losers, so that when the right guy comes along you don't have to worry about excess baggage or feeling like you aren't good enough for him because of who you have dated in the past. 

You are a daughter of God. Find a true son of God who loves you for YOU. Find someone who doesn't want one thing about you changed, and vice versa. Everyone has their faults. No one is perfect. The guy you look for needs to be someone who makes you want to be something other than who you are now.

Maybe there really are wonderful guys on this earth. 

I hate to say it, but I had almost given up hope on the RMs in this world. I have felt so sad when RMs carry the title, but not the character, and girls fall for them like a ton of bricks and they can't see how much they are being hurt, and how much they are missing. I hated how I kept finding myself stuck with guys who just weren't what I thought--or hoped--they could be. 

I decided to stop looking for an RM with both the title and the character, because I was convinced that nowadays there just might not be such a thing. I decided just to focus on myself and learn to love who I was, and just forget about guys with the RM title and character. And guess what? 

I found one.
I hope that you will, too.
Don't give up. Don't short-change yourself. You deserve to be loved. 
Find someone whom you don't have to feel guilty for loving.