Facebook Friend

Facebook always asks me the same thing. "What's on your mind?"

Some people answer that they are baking bread, taking care of their baby, waiting for their college loan to come through, dealing with scary relationships or starting a new diet.

My response to Facebook's annoying question is, "Why do I care?"

When I was in junior high, besides blabbing on the phone--not a cellphone, I might add; it was hooked to the wall in my basement--the only thing I was concerned with was getting my own email address. I recall a time when my bandmates and I took turns writing our email addresses on the whiteboard after class for everyone to see. The number of friends on my MSN Messenger contact list skyrocketed. It was a big deal. I could chat with friends in one chat window and get the entire conversation over with quickly. None of this back-and-forth status updating, wall posting, photo commenting garbage. The only photo I had to worry about in junior high was my yearbook photo. And I never expected it to be any good anyway.

I've had relationships start and end over Facebook. One time the only way I knew I was officially in a relationship with this one guy was when he sent me a relationship request. It was also the only time I knew we were officially out of one when he posted he was newly single.

The worst turn of events came about when I took one girl's constant lovey-dovey status updates, wall posts, and photo comments as advances on my guy interest, who just happened to be a missionary where she lived. I had been writing to him faithfully for a year but once I mentioned what I was seeing over Facebook, everything came to a complete halt. We've barely written since.

The good thing about Facebook is that you get to keep a close eye on people. But how much do you really want, or need, to know? Why do we need all-access to other people's lives? Wasn't life so much better before?

I feel like Facebook is there to constantly remind us of the days when we worried about who got the most pages in the yearbook, who was listed as Best Couple in the Best Of section, and who was so dang awesome that you should either bow down to them every waking moment or stay out of their way. And now they are on your "friends" list. Facebook just fuels this idea of "the popular kids" and makes us question who we are and whether or not we are truly good enough.

I have been struggling with whether or not I should erase my Facebook account for quite some time now. When I updated my status that I was going to quit Facebook for good, I had one friend respond. I had my answer.

Facebook has never been a good friend to me. I've been there for Facebook many times, keeping my photo pretty and my status shiny. But when has Facebook ever been there for me?